Been frustrated at the job lately. Thanks in large part to the wall of ambiguity I've been facing for the last month or so.
In addition to having never met my boss in person (and not offered the opportunity to remedy this any time soon), what exactly I'll be doing in terms of my job duties has now flown straight up in the air. As a consequence, I have three or four people telling me what MIGHT happen, not what WILL happen. Decidedly annoying.
It's a good thing my boss is amazing, helpful, kind, and patient. Not a lot of people can say that about their boss, and even though I haven't met the fellow in person (and may never do so, as I might be assigned under someone else shortly), he's still a delight to work for and a good leader. That being said, he doesn't have a ton of decision-making power like previous bosses, so we're both kind of up the creek without a paddle.
I think my frustration at the moment is compounded by the fact that I don't exactly have enough to do (hopefully to be remedied by next week, but then again...who the f- knows??). I really don't like to sit idly by while my teammates are struggling under heavy loads, and despite my offers to help, they are somewhat powerless to delegate (DOH!).
As a young professional I keep seeing all the things that could be, all the goals that I have, and naturally, thanks to the pervasive ideology of my generation, I want it now, but only if I've earned it. Performance evaluation is coming up soonish (will be done over the phone as well), and I just hope that my offsite boss has contacted everyone I work with here onsite to get a better sense of my performance this year. Since the evaluation largely determines promotions and salaries, it's a big deal to me that he is aware of the work I've been doing, and is also aware of the help I might be needing in terms of my professional development. I suppose a wait-and-see attitude is best here, but again, it's frustrating.
My career goals have come into sharp focus in the last several months or so. I think that my resistance to the working life (i.e. my student mentality) finally wore off, and now I'm anxious to go after what I want. Not in that cutthroat kind of way, but in a finding the joy of a day's hard work way.
It's strange, this is a new feeling, and I'm nervous because I think I'm more like my father than I'd ever care to admit. He's always been a businessman and I swore up and down I wouldn't never been happy in an office. Now I'd be deliriously content if I could just get out of this damn cube and into a solid four-walled structure with a door that closes. I've even been reading books to help my professional growth (This
one is a good one actually, very easy to understand, and quite useful as well. I plan on reading its
follow up this weekend).
The truth is this: The step above entry-level isn't good enough now. I don't want to stop until I'm solidly in a leadership position. Freakin' weirded out! Who is this person?
Next I'll be admitting how much I'd like to own a house/condo, get married, buy a dog (no kids thanks), etc...
